Five seasons, 2022/23–2026/27 · October 2026 · how the index works
Five seasons of evidence on all 92 league clubs, boiled down to two scores: is the club shit, and are the fans? Which boardrooms panic first, which crowds vanish when the football turns bad — and who manages both at once. Higher is always worse. Find your club below.
Type a club for its full page: the breakdown, the derby, the neighbours, its division — and head-to-heads with anyone.
Two scores per club, both percentiles, both out of 100 — and higher is always worse.
The Shit Club score judges the institution on five sins: impatience (how fast they burn through managers), indiscipline (cards per game), lawlessness (points actually deducted — verdicts, not charges), waste (winning less than your wage bill should buy — poverty is not a sin, wasting money is) and the “your manager is an arsehole” factor (touchline sanctions, at half weight — the rap sheet follows the manager from job to job).
The Shit Fans score asks three questions of the crowd: do they stay when the football goes bad (70% of the score), do they travel (20%, distance-adjusted), and do they behave (10%, FA verdicts plus arrest statistics). A number we can’t establish is shown as missing and the rest reweight — never guessed.
The combined score is the average of the two. Every rule behind these numbers is spelled out in plain English on the method page.
The dirty dozen — ranked by the combined score, which averages the two axes: a one-sided horror show (saintly club, dreadful fans, or the reverse) can out-rank an all-round failure, so the profile column says which corner of the quadrant each club actually lives in.
The official weights are editorial choices, not laws of nature — so here are the dials. Reweight the five sins, the three fan questions and the club/fans balance, and the table, the quadrant and every head-to-head recalculate instantly — from the unrounded component percentiles underneath the published scores, never the rounded headlines. A missing component (undisclosed wages, not enough league seasons) drops out and your remaining weights stretch to fill the gap, exactly as the official index does. Custom rankings are labelled Your Rules everywhere they appear; the official index is the one on the method page.
Any two of the 92, side by side: scores, components, gates, managers, money and the reliability of each number. The summary is generated from the published data by fixed rules — where a metric is unavailable or rests on weak evidence, it says so rather than guessing.
Gates follow league position. Across 350+ season-on-season transitions by the clubs of the last five years, each rung climbed on the 92-place pyramid ladder is worth about +0.45% on the gate, once each season's league-wide tide (cost of living, the partial current season) and the one-off crowd surge of promotion and slump of relegation are stripped out. That line is the expected same-division response. A club's loyalty score is its average distance from the expected response across its transitions, damped toward zero when it rests on only a season or two (one freak year shouldn't crown or condemn a fanbase): below the line means supporters left faster than the football deserved; above it means a crowd the results never earned.
Fill rate also follows the pyramid, falling by roughly half a percentage point per rung from the top of the Premier League to the bottom of League Two. The line is what a club's current position "buys"; the distance above or below it says who turns up regardless of the football — and who has a ground their support cannot justify at their current level.
Every club in the top four divisions, 2026/27. Dot size is capacity; colour is how much of it they fill this season. Hover or tap a dot for the club's full record.
The red belt is instructive: the emptiest grounds cluster in the North-West and the Midlands — big boxes built for Premier League pasts (Wigan, Blackburn) or for futures that never arrived (MK Dons). London runs full; so does almost everything in the Premier League.
Average league gate this season (three to five home games so far) as a share of capacity. A low number is rarely about the fans alone — it is a stadium sized for a club that no longer exists, or never did.
Change in average league gate — this season against last, and this season against five years ago. Division changes included, because that is the point: the gate follows the football, except where it doesn't. This season's averages are partial, so single-season swings carry fixture-mix noise that the five-year view washes out.
The index with the less printable name. For every club: how many permanent managers it has used since August 2022 (compiled from four-plus seasons of managerial-change records), against how many league matches and defeats it has played in that window. The result is how long a manager survives at each club, and how many defeats he is allowed before the end.
Every club, every number, ranked by the combined Shit² score — least shit club first, so the shame builds as you scroll. Click a column heading to sort it your way; type to filter. The 26/27 gate is the season so far; loyalty is the five-year score (blank where a club lacks enough EFL seasons).
ShitClubShitFans.co.uk · the official index
The index recomputed as of the end of each season, under today's method (so the line measures the club, not our revisions). A component listed as missing wasn't scoreable that year — when one arrives, the others hand back its weight, which can move the score without anyone doing anything. That's composition, and the breakdown below says so when it happens.
Method. Two marks out of 100 per club, both percentiles against the other 91, and higher is always worse. The Shit Club score weighs five sins — impatience, indiscipline, lawlessness, waste (points won against what division-relative wages should buy) and the “your manager is an arsehole” factor; the Shit Fans score asks whether the crowd stays, travels and behaves; the combined score is the average of the two. Weights: see the method page. The evidence is five seasons, 2022/23–2026/27: results and cards from football-data.co.uk, attendances from Transfermarkt, wage bills from each club’s statutory accounts at Companies House, deductions and sanctions from governing-body rulings (verdicts, not charges), arrests from Home Office statistics. A number we can’t establish is shown as missing and the remaining weights stretch to fill the gap — never guessed. Data to this build; the current season is partial and firms up every Monday — and you can set your own weights in Your Rules: change the weights and the podium reshuffles, which is half the fun.
The full method, in plain English with every health warning: how the index works. October 2026.